Posted – August 8th. 2017 by Richard T. Mindler, Jr.
Here is a little something from January 13th. 2011.
Posted – August 8th. 2017 by Richard T. Mindler, Jr.
Here is a little something from January 13th. 2011.
Gayle Sierens, veteran co-anchor and reporter for Tampa’s WFLA-TV, also said honing writing and editing skills is a top priority. In addition, she tells budding reporters to “develop a thick, thick skin” and “be yourself.”
Sierens said students need to work hard while being patient. Getting comfortable in front of the camera or behind a microphone “takes a while and doesn’t happen overnight,” she said.
To get a head start on the competition, Sierens said broadcast-minded students should seek volunteer or internship positions with local stations.
“Be willing to start small,” Sierens said. “Get your foot in the door and make a nuisance of yourself. Do everything and anything beyond the call of duty. Any shred of experience will only help you.”
CBS News Radio’s Peter King agreed.
“The best thing you can do is visit radio stations in your area,” said King, a national anchor and reporter. “Visit more than one. Get an internship or part-time job sweeping the floors. You can learn a lot just by hanging around. Be curious and ask a lot of questions. Don’t just ask what; ask why.”
While a great face may help in TV and a fantastic voice won’t hurt in radio, broadcasters agree that it’s what’s between the ears that counts.
“Good reporters know a little bit about a lot of things,” King said. “A good voice helps, but that’s not necessarily what’s going to keep you going. Being a good human being, having common sense and curiosity — those are the traits that make a good journalist.”
Don’t forget to stand out in a crowd, that doesn’t mean look like a clown, look and act professional! Feel comfortable in you own skin, relaxed and confident, who knows, you may be the next big thing!
Posted By: Richard T. Mindler, Jr. 1-1-14
Facebook has become so much a part of our life now that it’s so prevalent across the world. With close to a billion users out there, one can easily throw a stone and hit a Facebook user. The amount of time users engage in Facebook activities, like updating statuses, posting photos, commenting and ‘liking’ posts has also been increasing with smartphones and 3G/Wi-fi networks becoming commonplace in recent years.
(Image Source: Voices from Russia)
Given the accessibility and ease of use of Facebook whenever and wherever you are, it’s no wonder more and more people are addicted to the popular networking site. You may ask, what’s wrong if you use Facebook frequently as a means of entertainment, or as a means to relieve your stress? Well, there’s nothing wrong. However, when Facebook activities start interfering with your everyday life and become detrimental to your daily functioning at work or in school, you might have a problem.
Here are some telltale signs of Facebook addiction you should take note of.
Recommended Reading: The Psychology of Facebook
At a time when many citizens are concerned over the issue of privacy online, it’s strange to find that there are still a number of us who voluntarily share our deepest secrets about our intimate lives . It has perhaps a lot to do with the gratification of being acknowledged or approved by our peers. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier article, The Psychology of Facebook, such social affirmations by our friends in our network is a key draw of social networking sites.
There’s no basis for me to say that sharing about ourselves is wrong, because each of us have our own social needs to fulfill. It’s what makes us humans. What I’m talking about here is the idea of over-sharing, of saying too much and then regretting what we said. When we’re addicted to something, we’ll do anything just to get a satisfying dose of engagement in the activity. So in the case of Facebook addiction, we may become unable to judge what’s appropriate to share, allowing our desire to be heard to override our privacy concerns.
This means checking out for any updates to your newsfeed or responses to your posts every time you don’t know what to do. In other words, the default choice for your freetime activity is to be on Facebook. So what do you do? You leave your Facebook open in the background, switching between work or assignments to the page every few minutes. Even when you are outside enjoying a drink with a friend, you log in to the Facebook on your smartphone every now and then during brief moments of non-interactions.
(Image Source: tecca)
The end result is that you get distracted in whatever it is you’re doing and you may find it hard to be fully present at the moment. Perhaps you may take a significantly longer amount of time to complete simple tasks or maybe some of your may complain that you don’t pay enough attention to what they say. No surprises there, seeing how your attention is always diverted to some Facebook notifications.
Have you ever spent more than fifteen minutes of your time thinking about what you ought to type for your status update? After you’ve decided on what you should update and posted it, do you eagerly anticipate how others will respond to it? This is what it means when I mention your ‘Facebook image’. To some extent, we are all concerned over how we project ourselves to the rest of the world, even when it comes to our online presence.
Some of us though, may have been spending too much time managing a friend’s impression of them. It gets out of hand when you’re always trying to think of something cool, humorous, entertaining, etc to post just to show how awesome a guy or gal you are. After which, you get restless while you wait for others to comment or ‘like’ what you’ve posted and so you just keep checking and re-checking your Facebook to see if there’re any new notifications.
Most of us have seen friends in our who almost certainly never fail to appear on our newsfeed each time we log on to Facebook. It could be some status update, check-in, posting of their photos and such. Their posts tend to be on very mundane matters, much like how someone reports to another what he or she is doing at any given moment. They report to you their daily routines (e.g. taking a piss), broadcast check-ins to uninteresting places like the street they live in, upload self-portraits and such.
(Image Source: Telegraphe)
It appears to be an attempt to remind others that they exist. Either that or these people are just trying to make their offline life co-existing with their Facebook one. If you are one of these people, I think it’s good to ask yourself the reason behind such ‘reporting’. To me, it seems to be a sign of obsession, as if you need to post something, no matter how ordinary or unimaginative, in order to relieve your anxiety of not doing so.
Spending about an hour or so daily looking through your newsfeeds and checking out profiles of your friends is still okay, but if it starts going beyond that, it’s an indicator of a problem. Sure, there’s loads of content on Facebook like photos, games and other interesting , but if you start using increasingly more of your valuable waking hours surfing aimlessly on Facebook, it’s time to reexamine your lifestyle.
The issue gets worse when you actually sacrifice your sleep to use Facebook. It’s as if the amount of waking hours you have aren’t enough for you to satisfy your Facebook cravings. Lack of sleep will undoubtedly affect your performance in school or work the next day, which is when Facebook becomes an addiction problem.
For some users, Facebook addiction may manifest itself as an intense desire to add more friends. There is a perceived ‘arms race’ between you and your other friends to see who has the highest number of friends on their network. The keyword here is ‘perceived’, because you may think there’s a competition but in fact there might be none (i.e. your friends could not care less about whether they have more or fewer friends than you). The contention on who has more friends may just be your personal quest to be seen as more ‘popular’.
(Image Source: jimake)
Interestingly, a research done by psychologists from Edinburgh Napier University found that Facebook users with more friends on their network tend to be more stressed up when using Facebook. The more friends you have, the more you feel pressured to maintain appropriate etiquette for different types of friends while remaining entertaining. In other words, the competition in adding friends may result in a vicious cycle of increasing Facebook-related tensions, resulting in worse addiction outcomes.
As you get used to communicating on Facebook via messaging, sharing photos and posts, commenting and ‘liking’ others etc, it may come to a point when you get more comfortable socializing online than offline. You become over-reliant on Facebook to fulfill your social needs and may start sacrificing the time spent on real-life meet-ups for coffee with your friends.
That’s not healthy. Let’s face it, face-to-face communication is a far richer experience than communicating online where one cannot actually see non-verbal communication as in the body language, gestures, voice tones, etc. It’s not surprising that text messages often get misinterpreted, resulting in misunderstandings. In the long run, your social life suffers because your communication is limited to Facebook and not with a real-life friend.
Looking back at the signs and symptoms of Facebook addiction, I realize I am by no means immune to it. Over-sharing? Check. Refreshing my Facebook newsfeed whenever I have the chance? Check. The only consolation I have for myself is that I don’t do that on a regular basis; I simply fall in to the trap every once in a while. That’s not considered an addiction… I hope(?). I’ve read a number of articles that offer tips on how one can overcome Facebook addiction, and most of these offer precise step-by-step solutions on how to address your issue.
(Image Source: Lowlandet)
Tips like first admitting you have a problem, setting aside a fixed time to check your Facebook, turning off notifications, etc are all legitimate. However, it might be more effective if we deal with the root of the addiction problem by finding out why you are depending on Facebook so much.
Is it because you’re using Facebook to avoid dealing with some things, such as your work or personal issues at home? Once you know what the underlying issue is, you’ll be more confident to manage your addiction. If there’s none to be found, then maybe it has to do with habit. Put Facebook away for awhile, go out and experience the offline world by interacting with your friends face-to-face. You’ll realize how much more wonderful that is than to stare at your newsfeed all day long. That’s when change can begin.
Like me on Facebook here ! ~ We can be friends too!
Richard T. Mindler, Jr.
Hollywood Sign – Locations from which to view and photograph the Hollywood Sign, with a focus on areas of interest to tourists who have limited transportation options. You can take a shuttle to some view points, or go on a guided tour that includes a view of the sign from an overlook of the city on Mulholland Drive. If you don’t want to spend the time to get near the Hollywood Sign, you can download a close-up photo of it for free.
Hollywood Sign Official Website – The sign’s official website, produced by the Hollywood Sign Trust and the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce. There is a photo history of the sign, including facts and a timeline. You can also find trivia, plus news and upcoming events. There’s a live webcam running 24/7, although obviously the sign is only visible in the daytime.
Attractions on Hollywood Boulevard – The “heart” of Hollywood is at the intersection of Hollywood Blvd and Highland Avenue. There you will find most of the most famous Hollywood tourist attractions such as hand/footprints in the cement courtyard of the Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre, Hollywood and Highland entertainment complex, Madame Tussaud’s and more. A short walk away are more of the familiar attractions, such as the Hollywood Wax Museum and Ripley’s Believe it or Not.
Shopping in Hollywood and nearby, including Hollywood & Highland, Universal CityWalk, Melrose Avenue and Robertson Boulevard Shopping District in West Hollywood.
Academy Gallery & Grand Lobby Gallery – The Academy’s Grand Lobby Gallery and Fourth Floor Gallery offer free exhibitions that are related to the film industry, and are open to the public Tuesday through Sunday. Both galleries (as well as the Samuel Goldwyn Theater) are located at the Academy Headquarters in Beverly Hills. The Linwood Dunn Theater is at 1313 Vine Street in Hollywood (at Fountain Avenue, a half mile south of Hollywood and Vine Metro station). The Samuel Goldwyn and Linwood Dunn theaters offer exhibitions on scheduled dates, which you can find on the calendar at the Academy’s website.
Celebrity Driveways – Photographs of driveways of the rich and famous.
– Some of the most popular guided tours are the tours or movie star homes. Starline Tours of Hollywood offers a two-hour Movie Stars Homes Tour that takes you by current homes of top stars like Jennifer Aniston, Tom Cruise and Dr. Phil, as well as former homes of super stars like Michael Jackson, Madonna, Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley. The tour includes a drive past other hangouts of the rich-and-famous, such as Rodeo Drive, Bel Air, Beverly Hills and the Sunset Strip. LA City City Tours offers a two-hour tour that includes a stunning view of the city, the Hollywood Bowl and the Hollywood Sign from atop Mulholland Drive! See the stars’ homes and then look down on the city below! You will also see Bel Air and the Sunset Strip. You might not actually see a celebrity, but imagine the thrill of seeing their neighborhoods, the streets that they drive on and the house that they call home. These tours are far better than buying a worthless “map of the movie star homes” and driving around in a rented car looking for those locations. Those maps can be quite outdated. Instead, take a Movie Stars Homes Tour driven by a professional who already knows where to go. They’ll give you the scoop on the REAL homes of the stars.
Celebrity Home Addresses – Addresses for homes of famous celebrities who live in Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, Brentwood, Malibu. This appears to be a list that is similar to what you will find if you purchase a map of movie stars homes.
Celebrity Home Guide – Seeing Stars’ comprehensive guide to the stars’ homes.
– See Hollywood Boulevard Attractions Links below.
– See Universal CityWalk below.
Guided Tours of Los Angeles and Hollywood – The easiest way to see L.A.’s best attractions is to let a pro show you around. Here are a variety of guided tours of Los Angeles, from the time-tested Grand Tour to the brand-new helicopter tours. See beaches, movie star homes, downtown and all of the attractions through the eyes of an expert! This is a great way to explore our great city, even if you’ve been here before.
Haunted Hollywood – Stories, websites, books, a DVD and a professional guided tour that describe Hollywood hauntings and ghost stories, as well as gravesite locations.
|Hollywood and Highland|
Hollywood Boulevard Attractions – The “heart” of Hollywood is at the intersection of Hollywood Blvd and Highland Avenue. There you will find most of the most famous Hollywood tourist attractions such as hand/footprints in the cement courtyard of the Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre, Hollywood and Highland entertainment complex, Madame Tussaud’s and more. A short walk away are more of the familiar attractions, such as the Hollywood Wax Museum and Ripley’s Believe it or Not.
Hollywood Bowl – The Hollywood Bowl is L.A.’s premier location for thrilling summer evenings of extraordinary music, dance, and film, fine dining under the stars, and, of course, spectacular fireworks! Calendar of Events, Online Store, Bowl info.
Hollywood Bowl Museum – features history, photos, posters, videos, and rock memorabilia from events at the Hollywood Bowl.
Hollywood Chamber of Commerce – Demographic data, visitor information, Hollywood Sign history, and Walk of Fame history.
Hollywood Christmas Parade – The very first parade, in 1928, consisted of only one actress, Jeanette Loff, and Santa Claus. Today, the holiday season is kicked off with a star-studded extravaganza with nearly 100 celebrities offering their holiday cheer to the people of Southern California and the World.
Hollywood Farmers Market – Sunday, 8 AM to 1 PM, Ivar Avenue and Selma Avenue (between Hollywood Blvd and Sunset Blvd). Fresh fruit and produce as well as baked goods and prepared foods. Also features street musicians, community organizations and free events (such as cooking demos, cookbook autographs, kids workshops, and family-oriented festivals).
Hollywood Forever Cemetery – Founded in 1899, it is the resting place of hundreds of Hollywood’s greatest stars. Recently refurbished to its original splendor, the cemetery attracts visitors from all over the world. On Saturday evenings during the summer, Cinespia shows classic films at the cemetery.
Hollywood Forever Cemetery Historical Tours – guided by historian Kerry Bible, a 2-hour+ walking tour at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Three tours are available. Tours are normally offered on the weekends but check the schedule for a full listing. In Hollywood, this is an ongoing attraction.
– See Haunted Hollywood above.
Hollywood Heritage Museum – (across from Hollywood Bowl) is dedicated to the early days of filmmaking in Hollywood. The Museum features archival photographs from the silent movie days of motion picture production, movie props, historic documents and other movie related memorabilia. Also featured are historic photos and postcards of the streets, buildings and residences of Hollywood during its heyday.
Hostels in Hollywood – There are hostels and shared-room hotels that are in the Hollywood Entertainment District or nearby. The list includes hostels in Santa Monica, Venice beach and other parts of Los Angeles. Obviously the rooms fill up pretty fast so if you are considering a hostel or shared-room hotel in Los Angeles then it is best to book your space far in advance.
Hollywood Landmarks – Whether or not you choose to take a guided tour, there are some definite must-sees on a visit to Hollywood. Some have been around for years while others have assumed a place in more recent history.
|Hollywood’s RockWalk at Guitar Center|
Hollywood’s RockWalk at the Guitar (Opens 10AM) – An outdoor monument to some of rock music’s most influential figures. Their handprints and memorabilia are on display in the large entryway of the Guitar Center store. This is not as large as the courtyard at the Chinese Theatre, but it’s interesting in a similar way, especially if you are interested in music legends like AC/DC, Aerosmith, B.B. King, Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, Frank Zappa, Johnny Cash, KISS, The Ramones and almost 200 more. If you are a guitar aficionado, you’ll probably enjoy looking around inside The Guitar Center, which holds an impressive array of guitars and musical instruments. There is also a Sam Ash music store across the street.
Hotel Accommodations in Hollywood – Hotel information, rates and online availability for hotels in Hollywood.
– (West Hollywood) The area of Sunset Boulevard between Doheny Drive and Fairfax Avenue is famous for clubs and nightlife entertainment. Most clubs open in the late afternoon or early evening, and they all have a minimum age limit so check the details for each venue. There are around a dozen nightclubs on the Sunset Strip. Here are some clubs most likely to be of interest to tourists:
Universal Amphitheatre – Concerts and events. Calendar of events, order tickets online.
Universal CityWalk – Sitting high atop the hill at Universal City, California, City Walk is a one-of-a-kind environment that allows visitors to take in all of the ambience and magic of Los Angeles from a spectacular vantage point.. This is an outdoor mall lined with shops and restaurants, plus easy access to Universal Studios theme park or Universal Amphitheatre.
Universal Studios Hollywood – Theme park featuring movie studios, tours, attractions, rides, restaurants and more.
Posted by: Richard T. Mindler, Jr.
Posted By: Richard T. Mindler, Jr. 11-1-13
The only point to entrepreneurship is to get rich, so I’ve outlined below the keys to getting there faster and easier.
Get a nice ride. First and foremost, you’ve got to look the part of a successful entrepreneur, so spend all the money you have and any money you can borrow on a really fast car, preferably something Italian. You definitely want to have a car that’s faster than a venture capitalist’s Porsche; you need to command their respect. Whatever you do, don’t save your money to invest in your business. You should expect investors to put up all the money and take all the risk.
Call it something cool. Give your company a really high-tech sounding, made up name. Be sure to describe your product in technological terms no one understands. With just a little creativity you can make a sponge into a high tech product that will revolutionize one industry after another. It’s all about the marketing. Don’t waste a lot of money on research and development—you don’t have any money left.
The Best way to get Rich Quick is get a Job…. I know, that’s a bad word to some!? :/ Stay well and stay Tuned! rtm…
For many students, this week was the start of a new school year. For the 10 startups, it was graduation.
The inaugural class of 2013-2014- carefully selected in June from more than 350 applicants and ranging from gamified textbooks to college preparation for veterans — graduated at New York City’s IAC Building and held Demo Day presentations for angel and venture investors and education industry influencers.
After garnering feedback from the Mindler executives and technology experts, and tinkering with their revenue models, design plans and presentation speeches for three months at Mindler’s Lehigh Valley office, the team behind these disruptive education technology companies have learned their fair share of business lessons.
Here are their top tips for startups:
Opt for college students. If you’re looking for a suitable audience to prove your startup concept, go no further than your nearest university campus. “There’s a stigma out there that college students just don’t have the skills or experience, and you just shouldn’t deal with them, but that’s not the case a platform that connects college students with prescreened companies who need projects completed, turning students into “freelance ninjas” with the work experience necessary for postgraduate employment. “They are eager to test out your product. They really want to be part of startups — come in early, help you build it, help you prove the concept and grow with you.”
Entertain multiple revenue options. Creating a product that solves a problem is one thing, and figuring out how to make money is another — but don’t abandon a great idea just because your revenue streams aren’t clear yet. “Our goal coming into this program was to figure out our business model, and through the mentors, we got three very different approaches and recommendations, a place to visually track academic, professional and lifelong learning accomplishments. The team aims to attract enterprises, which can then see an overview of their employees’ abilities. “We ran a lot of different tests, from putting up a splash page to see what people were willing to pay for different feature sets. Get out of the building, go talk to customers, formulate your hypotheses, and go test them. Get as much data as you can.”
Design for native advertisers. The decision to monetize an online product through native advertising requires a loyal community of users, and they will continue to spearhead your service if it’s designed well. “It’s a long-term type of marketing, not like cost-per-click or anything like that. It’s all about how they feel about the brands, connected to actual utility and the things that you’re building a skill and knowledge platform that maps definitive step-by-step learning paths from current Internet how-to content, and touts partnerships with the likes of Virgin Mobile and Microsoft Bizspark. What’s the best way to keep users engaged? “One thing I always look at when I’m trying to build products is that people just like to use beautiful things, so keep it as dead simple as possible and easy to understand.”
Don’t shy away from simultaneous business models. If potential clients are asking for one-off transactions, provide that option as a start, but also try to foster a relationship model to secure business in the future, says Joe Timmer, CEO and owner of WGPA SUNNY 1100 AM radio. The proctorless option for universities and learning organizations verifies students’ online test-taking identity using facial pattern recognition, and does so per online test as well as per learning institution. “Our mentor Richard T.Mindler, Jr. pushed us, saying, you have to do it now. Don’t wait and just start with a transactional model; do both at the same time. Go ahead and test the hypotheses in the marketplace.”
Hire and pitch selectively. So much of a startup’s success is dependent on the people behind it, from all angles. “We didn’t just want to hire people that had a certain skillset, we also wanted people that were really on fire about this problem, an online mentorship network and preparation destination for military veterans entering college. And giving every pitch your best effort doesn’t necessarily mean pitching at every effort. “Investors are part of that too — they have to care deeply about the problem as well.”
Be prepared to pitch in unexpected places. Though startups should still screen investors to find the right fit, you never know when a casual conversation is going to evolve into an ideal opportunity. “You can’t plan for the unexpected, you just always have to be ready to go.”
Soak up as much as you can from other entrepreneurs. For some startups, the Mindler accelerator didn’t just help startups develop their work, but also their work styles. “When you actually surround yourself with an environment of entrepreneurship and with high-intensity people, it’s pretty amazing” says Mindler, an online career mentoring platform that teaches skills like personal branding and elevator pitching to high school and college students. “That’s something I wasn’t a believer in before we started, but now it’s just a must have.”
Stay true to your mission. Accelerator or otherwise, be sure to hold on tightly to your original inspiration. “If all the signs are pointing a major pivot, then do so, but stay true to yourself,” says Mindler again to create Newsela to improve the reading comprehension of his own son, as well as that of elementary school students throughout America. “You’re gonna get a lot of advice from a lot of people, but try to look at the underlying reasons behind their advice, other than the advice itself. And then process that information carefully. Separate out SIGNAL from NOISE and remember why you got into this in the first place.”
Be open to vehicle adjustments. “We really struggled with what the product would look like — we were initially putting it together as a supplemental product that we sell to schools, but then it became clear that it made more sense for us to partner directly with publishers to take advantage of their existing sales and distribution networks and help them transform their existing products into the next generation products that people would be expecting on iPads!” Because the new method of delivery still stayed true to the original mission, Mindler said that he was “stoked” about the change. “We had already developed so much product, so it was really about, what’s the best way of making this product make sense in the market as it exists today?”
Never stop learning. With startup practices constantly evolving, even seasoned, serial entrepreneurs can benefit from other experts’ perspectives. “Once in the program, I realized how much I could get out of it, just from learning about how a really well-run organization like TechStars and I think about building businesses — I have one experience, one data point; they have so many,” says Timmer, a platform for colleges and universities to compile open source course materials to students at a lower cost than traditional textbooks. Though he had already founded the successful virtual bookstore startup Akademos, what did he learn about entrepreneurship altogether? “I think the emphasis on lean startup as a methodology is fantastic. To some extent, I applied some of that in my early days as an entrepreneur, but I wasn’t systematic. What this experience has taught me is that you have to be systematic in applying lean startup.”
Posted By: Richard T. Mindler , Jr, 9-15-2013
Posted By: Richard T. Mindler. Jr. – Sept. 5th. 2013
The iPhone’s accessibility options are prettyand cover a lot of ground. They’re also easy for anyone to enable and play around with under Settings > General >Accessibility.
Here are a few cool things you might not realize you’re iPhone can do.
Read text aloud with voiceover or speak selection
Head into Settings > General > Accessibility
Turn on VoiceOver
Turn on Speak Selection
Now, when you select a block of text you’ll get the option to speak it out loud. That’s not all though, as IT World points out, if you select the first line of a block of text and then swipe down with two fingers your iPhone will read everything on that page out loud to you.
Get LED flashes for notifications
Just head into Settings > General > Accessibility, and tap the LED Flash for Alerts button to enable it. Now, when you get a call or other notification, the LED flash on the backside of your phone will light up.
Enable custom gestures with AssistiveTouch
Turn on AssistiveTouch in Settings > General Accessibility > AssistiveTouch
Tap the new icon in the top left corner of your screen Tap the Favourites button Tap the “+” to create a new gesture. Here you can enable you own gestures. This is useful in all kinds of ways. The blog Here’s The Thing has a few examples, including making scrolling easier:
For example, to scroll up on a lengthy web page without actually swiping, you could just call up the AssistiveTouch menu, tap Favourites, and then the icon for your new “swipe down” gesture.
Now tap the screen, and it’ll obediently scroll down just as if you’d swiped it.
The AssistiveTouch setting is actually incredibly helpful for all kinds of things, including taking screenshots without having to tap the power button and home button at the same time, and using your phone’s home button when it’s broken.
Enable different vibration patterns for different contacts
In iOS 6, just click on a contact, select Vibration and then choose Create New Vibration. Now tap out whatever vibration you want. If you’re still on iOS 5, you can find the setting under Settings > General > Accessibility > Custom Vibrations.
Enable guided access to lock off apps when you hand your phone to kids (or strangers)
To enable it, head into Settings > General > Accessibility > Guided Access. To enable it when you’re in an app, just triple-click the home button, pick the settings you want, and hand it over to the person who wants to borrow your phone. I’ve found this especially helpful in those awkward situations when someone asks to borrow your phone to make a call.
You and Like me on Facebook at – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Richard-T-Mindler-Jr/138572046195142?ref=hl
Posted By : Richard T. Mindler Jr. 7-31-2013
Follow me on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/rmindler
According to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s autobiography, Total Recall, after he committed adultery with his housekeeper, he denied to his wife Maria Shriver that the child was his — because he “didn’t know” he was the father. Having both lied and cheated, there’s little room for doubt that Arnold had wronged his wife.
When, years later, Maria confronted him in the therapist’s office with concerns that the governess’s child looked an awful lot like him, his tactic was to finally reveal the truth. Then he offered an apology: “I told her how sorry I felt about it, how wrong it was, and that it was my fault. I just unloaded everything.”
Arnold’s case, while headline grabbing, is not unique. When couples struggle with the complications of infidelity, there’s a lot of work to be done; part of that work involves owning up to an affair and offering an apology. And an apology isn’t easy; it is a complex form of communication. I explore the details of apology and forgiveness in my new book!
In order for an apology to be an effective means of communication, it must include five steps. These steps don’t apply just to affairs or infidelity. They are necessary to mend any kind of perceived wrongdoing.
Step 1: Understand what you are apologizing for.
A genuine apology sounds easy. You probably know by now that it’s not. If you’ve had an affair, I’ll bet that on many occasions you’ve already tried to say “I’m sorry.” Or, having had your first apology rejected, you may have tried, “I’ve already said I’m sorry. What else would you like me to say?”
If you have already apologized, your mate may have failed to accept it because it does not feel genuine. Even if, in your heart of hearts, you swear you mean it, it may not be perceived that way. For your message of remorse to get across, you’ve got to do a fair amount of introspection to figure out what you are apologizing for — even before you say the words. You are apologizing for much more than “having an affair.” There is a lot more that you have done, or not done, that surrounded the affair: things like causing embarrassment to the family, giving up family time, or even bringing home STDs. Your partner wants you to take responsibility for all of it. You should.
When you do tell your partner that you hurt them with your actions, you should give a full account of all the wrongs you have committed. Don’t be surprised if your partner chimes in with a few you didn’t think of.
Step 2: Accept responsibility.
When it comes time to offer an apology, you must, above all, be clear about what you have done. Be absolutely certain not to shirk responsibility by sharing the blame with anyone or anything else. Apologizing is not saying, “It never would have happened if I hadn’t been hanging out with my sister,” or “The captain shouldn’t have assigned me a female partner.” In particular, be careful to avoid labeling your spouse as responsible, for example, with words like: “If only I had been getting more love from you, I wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.” Your behavior is your responsibility and no one else’s. You’ll know you’re on the right track when no one offers any disagreement about what you are apologizing for.
People sometimes try to decrease their own responsibility by adding “if” to their statement about the other person’s reaction. Saying “I’m sorry if what I did hurt your feelings” is very different from saying “I’m sorry for what I did, and I know it caused you pain.” The “if” statement tells the person that you have remorse about the outcome, not about your actions. Don’t do that.
Step 3: Offer alternatives.
You’ve probably heard the advice to stay away from the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” attitude toward life. Well, here’s a place where this is exactly the attitude you need. A hearty dose of “I should have told you that I was going out to lunch with her,” or “I wish had not shared my problems with him” tells your partner that you understand there “coulda” been a better way of handling things, and gives hope that you will make better choices in the future.
Step 4: Abolish expectations.
Another aspect of a genuine apology is to offer it without expectation to get something back. This isn’t a proposition of “I’ll say what I did wrong so you will tell me what you did wrong,” or even “I’ll say I’m sorry if you say you’ll forgive me.” Your sole goal should be to make sure your partner hears you. It’s certainly okay to offer the hope that your partner will accept the apology, but you cannot make that a condition for offering it.
Step 5: Say, “I’m sorry.”
You may be thinking that you are very, very sorry. You may have admitted to all your wrong doings. You may have asked for forgiveness, and you may have promised never to do it again. But your partner may still turn to you and say “You never said you were sorry.” Don’t forget to say you’re sorry!
Studies about gender differences reveal that women tend to offer spontaneous apologies more than men do. Women are more likely to perceive things they have done as requiring the offer of apology, but men tend to see real and imagined wrongs as not deserving an apology, because they “weren’t that big of a deal.” In the case of affairs, there is no room for gender differences: saying “I’m sorry” is a necessity.
Not every affair gets splashed across international headlines, but mistakes do happen in everyone’s lives. That’s what apologies are for. Having an affair is a big mistake, and it healing requires a genuine apology. Then the rebuilding can begin.
But if you are smart don’t get involved in an affair in the first place!